My words (CRP): typical punctuation
Geo’s words spelled on 26 stencil letterboard: ALL CAPS
When I doodled this a few weeks ago, I didn’t think it would ever end up on the internet. I just wanted to capture unreliable speech as simply as I could from my experience living with an unreliable speaker. I showed Geo the doodle and asked him,
“How does it feel to be an unreliable speaker.”
His answer was raw and brave and again I realized how little I actually know about what it’s like to be trapped inside a body that won’t do what you want it to. He spelled:
YOU LOUD PEOPLE COMING FROM MY BODY
*F*** OFF
I FEEL SO HIGHJACKED
He’s 10 years old. Highjacked. Can you imagine wanting to say something with your speech but something different comes out no matter how hard you try? Sometimes it’s a movie quote, or a phrase you heard two years ago. Sometimes it is the exact opposite of what you actually want to say. Yes means no and no means yes and there isn’t a consistent way to actually say what you want to with your speech.
A quick search showed that the word highjacked means
“to seize control of something, especially by force or violence, often in a sudden and unauthorized manner.”
The speech that comes from an unreliable speakers’ mouth has not been authorized by them. It tumbles out without permission. It is unauthorized. It is LOUD PEOPLE COMING FROM his BODY.
When I was young, maybe 7 or 8, I was at a friend’s house. She said, “how do you spell grass.”
I said, “g - r - a - s - s.”
She said, “take off the gr, what does that spell?”
I said, “ass.”
She ran down the hall and told her parents I had said a curse word. I was horrified. I had no idea that there were words in the English language that people weren’t supposed to say!
So, I told my own kids all the curse words, which ones are stronger than others, and said that when they get older, they can choose if, when, and how they use them. I personally very rarely use them myself anymore but it’s a choice I make.
This is the first curse word Geo spelled on a letterboard. I wear a lot of hats in my house. I am his Mom. I have been his primary (but no longer only!) S2C practitioner. I am his main CRP (communication regulation partner). For a long time I was his teacher. And (crappy) chef. Driver… And now, I am a collaborator with him.
Half of my Mom hat thought, “what will people think if his first post has the F word in it.”
Then I realized, I don’t actually care. I will not edit his curse words. He already has a body that highjacks him. His true thoughts and ideas take more effort to turn into the written word than I’ll ever truly know and I will not edit him down, unless he wants me to.
He chose that word and it helps me understand what it’s like to live inside of an unreliably speaking body.
And I for one, am listening. - Gigi
LETS MAKE SPELLING A SAFE PLACE TO FEEL EMOTIONS - Geo.
*Original transcript did not have the F word bleeped but Geo decided to censor so he could reach more people.
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